Welcome to Draft Hell where last place isn’t safe!
Fantasy football is supposed to be fun—unless you finish bottom. We have the Harrison where the bottom 2 face off in the dead rubber to prove who is the worst at Fantasy Football.Because when you play, your draft isn’t just about glory. It’s about survival. Finished bottom of your StatrDraft or FPL league?
We’ve ditched the cookie-cutter FPL system. Your team is yours alone. You live and die by your draft. So if you go full Arteta and bottle it late on, you’d better believe there are consequences.
Whether you’re in a ruthless paid league or just out to humiliate your mates, here are 15 of the most outrageous, ridiculous, and downright hilarious punishment ideas to make sure nobody tanks the season.
The 15 Funniest, Most Savage Fantasy Football Forfeits
1. The Full Kit W*nker Walk of Shame
Wearing your team’s kit is normal. But full ki, boots, shin pads, captain’s armband, and possibly a name like “Shthouse 11″* on the back? That’s a new low.
Bottom of the table? You’re wearing full kit to Tesco. Bonus points for taping “I Bottled It” to the back. Send them to the shops, the pub, or worse the school run. Record everything. Bonus points for including goalie gloves and a tactical folder.
2. 24 Hours in IKEA
They can’t leave until they’ve spent a full 24 hours inside an IKEA. Toilet breaks allowed. They must survive an entire day inside IKEA without leaving. That means 24 hours of fake bedrooms, meatballs, and silently judging couples arguing over curtain rods.
Let them try to nap on a display bed while the staff slowly lose sympathy. One meatball per hour rule stands. They can bring a book. They can’t bring dignity.
3. Tattoo of Shame
The king of punishments. Risky one—but if your league has the bottle, this is legendary. Loser gets a tattoo chosen by the winner (within agreed limits… hopefully). Only for the most committed leagues. The winner picks the design (within humane boundaries).Think: a tiny crying emoji, a barcode, or “I picked Sancho in Round 3.”
Permanent regret. Eternal league legend. Still this might be the best bet this writer has ever been involved in isn’t that right Corey with your beautiful Fred toe…….
4. The Kids Party Entertainer
They show up as a clown, Disney princess, or off-brand superhero and must do a full hour of face painting, balloon animals, or telling stories to children who hate them on sight.
Book a real party or just let them loose in a park. Either way, someone’s crying by the end—and it won’t be the kids. Public humiliation, parental judgement, and tears (yours) guaranteed.
5. The Fantasy Football Apology Ad
Loser has to take out a local newspaper ad or social media post with a heartfelt apology to their team, their fans, and their mam. Print or post a public apology letter:
“To the fans, the club, and my family—I’m sorry. I drafted terribly. I ignored form. I captained a sub. I deserve this.”
Best served in a local paper, or boosted on Facebook to their hometown.
6. The Dirty Pint Draft
A post-season pint mixed by every winner. You get what you’re given. Curry sauce, Monster Energy, eggs—it’s all going in. Everyone in the league contributes one liquid to the pint.
Hot sauce, Monster, Guinness, pickle juice, milk, Red Bull, Baileys—whatever. The loser has to down it in one go. Film it. Add music. Post it.
If they vom, that’s just bonus content.
7. StatrMascot Takeover
@statrdraft BREAKING: Statr confirms the signing of a new squad member. No goals. No assists. No opposable thumbs! 🗒️ Contract signed 🎧 Headphones chewed 🫣 Already knocked over two coffees Join the waiting list now or get left on the bench over at StatrDraft.com #StatrDraft #NewSigning #NewSigning #FantasyFootballWithBite #MascotMadness
The loser becomes the official StatrDraft mascot for a day, costume and all. They hand out flyers in town, pose for selfies, attempt keepy-uppies in front of strangers, and maybe even read out fantasy stats to confused pensioners.
A+ engagement. A+ trauma. Contact us for use of the suit, we want to help you embarrass your mates.
8. 12-Hour Livestream of Shame
Lock them in a room with only a mic, a camera, and 12 hours to review every bad pick they made. Bonus: use it for your league promo next season. Set up a Twitch or YouTube stream where the loser must explain every single draft decision they made.
No skipping. No excuses. Just them and the data. You can even assign a host to grill them like a transfer window gone wrong. Viewers submit punishments in real-time. Popcorn optional.
9. Open Mic Night
Book a comedy night. Or a poetry slam. Or karaoke. They have to perform something, preferably written by the rest of the league. Force them to sing “Wrecking Ball” or recite a fantasy-themed limerick about their disgraceful campaign. Yes, they will get heckled. That’s the point.
Comedy. Poetry. Karaoke. Doesn’t matter. As long as it’s public and painful.
10. Baked Bean Bath Fundraiser
Old school but effective. Fill a paddling pool or bath with cold baked beans. Stick the loser in for an hour.
Make it a charity fundraiser to ease the shame. Or don’t. Either way, make sure someone has to hose them off in public after.
11. Airport Drop-Off in Costume
Next time someone needs a lift to the airport, the loser must do it—but dressed as a banana, Teletubby, or inflatable sumo wrestler.
No explanations to airport staff. Just vibes and weird glances from Ryanair passengers. Security footage optional. Photos mandatory.
12. One Chip Challenge – On Camera
The world’s hottest tortilla chip. One bite, ten minutes of crying. A single chip. A lifetime of regret. Film it, post it, and let the burn do the talking.
Film it. Upload it. Add fire emojis. Remind them of their pick in round four that led to this moment.
13. Blind Date Mystery Meal
The rest of the league preps a “delicious” mystery meal. The loser has to eat it blindfolded. Expect things like custard with sardines or Marmite ice cream. A truly unforgettable taste of failure.
The other players cook. The loser eats. No knowledge of the ingredients until it’s too late.
14. Tattoo Transfer Slap Pack
Buy a bulk pack of awful temporary tattoos. Think One Direction, Minions, or “Live Laugh Love” quotes.
Stick them all over the loser’s arms, neck, and face. They must keep them visible for 48 hours. Go out. Take photos. Regret everything.
15. The Fantasy Obituary
A solemn reading of their fantasy downfall. Loser must write and read a dramatic “career obituary” about their season on video. Tears. Regret. Maybe a eulogy from their rival.
“We are gathered here to mourn the tragic collapse of Jon’s team, FC Net Spend. Drafted strong, bottled it by Gameweek 6.”
Make it dramatic. Dress in black. Add sad violin music.
Got a Better One?
We want your best/worst punishments. We want your forfeits!
Send us videos, pics, or just the story, and we might feature your league across our socials. Bonus points for originality and humiliation, if it involves paint, public transport, or bad life decisions..
Tag us: @StatrDraft on IG, TikTok, and X, drop us a message, yell us on the streets, who cares.
We might even send the StatrMascot to act it out in your city for your league losers.
The Lesson? Don’t Come Last
There’s one rule in fantasy football that matters more than any other: just don’t finish last.
Because in a StatrDraft league, it’s not just about winning… it’s about not becoming a TikTok star for all the wrong reasons.
There are two types of fantasy football players—those who play to win…
And those who wear our crocodile costume on Grafton Street in December.
Don’t be that guy. Draft better. Play the Statr way. Join or create your league now
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