This season is far from over, and this week we take a look at three more teams in the chase for European places next year, and which players you should grab, drop, trade, or avoid like the plague. In part one we looked at AFC Bournemouth, Arsenal and Chelsea. This week it’s “turn your head and cough” time for the prospects of Newcastle, Aston Villa and….oh god, do I have to? Fine….
Manchester City (6th place – form WLDWD)
I suppose we have to talk about this shower, don’t we? Tempting though it may be to just sort of pretend they don’t exist, City are still one of the best clubs in the Premier League, having spent the better part of a decade as the team of note in English football. The glory of recent years has certainly lost its shine this season however, with injuries (ha), shock defeats, diminishing statistical powers and- put simply – an array of better teams on the ascent as City’s cycle comes to an inglorious end. The three key players in the core of Pep’s trophy machine – Rodri, De Bruyne, and Haaland – have all been off balance for reasons of injury, injury, and shit-at-hitting-the-target-osity respectively this year.
And yet, while the numbers tell one story, the fixtures and the inevitability of City surges in sunshine months tell another. City don’t lose in May. They’ve turned the run-in into an art form of late, and this season’s remaining fixtures represent not just the best last 4 weeks, but maybe best last EIGHT weeks they could have hoped for. Week 33 is a little spicy with a DGW that includes Villa, but other than that all they have to contend with is Palace, Everton, Wolves, Southampton, what’s left of Bournemouth, and a final day clash against Fulham. It’s entierly conceivable that they could pick up all 21 points here and shoot not just into the top 4 but even higher, depending on the bottlitude of Arsenal and whether Forest can just keep holding out against logic or conventional wisdom (let’s be honest, we all want them to). Chances of European football next year? Put it this way – if they don’t get there, they can’t blame the other teams.
Fantasy assets of note: betwen Pep roulette and the ongoing unpredictability of positioning, it’s hard to say. Marmoush, certainly, has been delivering the goals and may explode in front of weaker competition than he’s faced so far. Ederson is outscoring almost all goalies of late, and Gvardiol is a targeting system wrapped in a defender, which means points from more sources. And then there’s the big viking, who’s undoubtedly reading this from a couch (Hi Erling!) but not for the whole season. He’s expected back in time for week 36 and you just know he’ll arrive in style.
Newcastle United (5th place – form WLWWW)
If you’d asked us before Christmas, we’d have said Eddie Howe had less chance of surviving Christmas than a selection box. The most reliable defensive team in the League ™ were shedding points and haemorrhaging goals. And yet, as winter became spirng, Newcastle unfurled like some sort of … eh… mad….northern…footballing flower? Look they started winning games again, alright? And if that wasn’t enough, Howe brought home Newcastle’s first trophy since Napoleon started shaving, an FA cup final win over Liverpool that set the latter on a downward spiral. Who to pick up? It’s honestly such a balanced and settled squad that almost any of them are worth a look. Isak is a nailed-on must-have and has been since his feet touched the ground. Anthony Gordon and Jacob Murphy are both chance-creating powerhouses and solid goalscorers themselves. Nick Pope, whose game time this season is directly proportional with Newcastle’s good fortunes, And of course…
FABIAN SCHAR IS THE GREATEST PLAYER OF ALL TIME. (Editor’s note – please Deano, don’t hurt me, I said the thing for you.)
Let’s talk about what’s left to be done. A challenging double next week against City and Palace, followed by Villa, won’t really be providing too many easy wins. Then it’s Ipswich followed by Brighton before things get really nasty. Chelsea and Arsenal, both likely to have it all to play for as well, and then Everton on the last day. Honestly, with what’s left in front of them, I expect Newcastle to drop a couple of places before the dust settles. It’ll probably be Europe, but I dont think the points are there for UCL. More likely 6th or 7th place, but I’ve been wrong about Newcastle all season so who knows?
Aston Villa (7th place – form WLWWW)
It’s not just Newcastle that are shit hot right now, much to the magpies’ chagrin. Unai Emery’s team have been flying high, not just at home but in Europe. As this article is being written in a caffeine-fuelled flurry, they’re currently in a tight contest with PSG in a UCL quarter-final. If that wasn’t enough, they’re also in the FA cup semi-final, meaning they could potentially be the only team in England with two major trophies this season (unless Arsenal win the league and the Champions League and no, you stop laughing). It’s a good time to be a Villa fan.
Here’s the catch though – the longer those two cup campaigns continue, the more impact it’ll have on our beloved fantasy football assets, as well as possible endangering Villa’s quest for one of the European competition spots next season. Good news for the Premier League – especially those outside the top 4 currently – in that last night’s win by Arsenal over Real Madrid means a seventh english slot is almost guaranteed because of some sort of horoscope cryptocurrency tachyon woo nonsense called “differentials”. So Europe is looking like a distinct possiblity for a Villa team who right now are one of the most fearsome opponents to any takers in the Premier League. Forest, Brighton and Chelsea have all been dispatched in recent weeks and the good times show no signs of stopping, if the injuries and squad issues can be kept under control.
Remaining fixtures, I hear you ask? Soft next week (Southampton), then their last run of challenging games, starring Newcastle, City and Fulham. From there on in, Bournemouth (who we discussed in part one, are headed binwards), and this year’s problem children duo to finish the season – Spurs and United. Fantasy assets, I smell you wondering? Well, as our Jon said elsewhere, Villa won the January transfer window. Rashford has returned from his 18 month wet pile of twoels impression and is on form as good as he’s ever shown. Morgan Rogers has been stellar all year, and new signing Marcus Asensio brings an almost incomparable cocktail of experience and pace. Defensively, not much else to shout about, but definitely the team of the moment.
Jimi Kavanagh, April 2025
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